We always say that time flies when good things are happening to us. But what exactly good happened? What am I missing actually – now that everything has flown by like a massive tornado of emotions – what am I left with? It feels like the end but it’s actually the beginning. Damn, now I’m spouting cliches.
I think I’m always hit with such emotional thoughts either way too prematurely or too late. It seems like now, even after knowing that I have piled up backlog awaiting me to clear, I still feel like I’m stuck at that moment, unable to move on. Do you feel like that too? It’s been such a fulfilling journey – this SUAD 2012 – like really a dream came true. Most people probably wouldn’t understand how I feel, and I’m not asking that they do. But being given this opportunity to dance again; to finally do something I like even after avoiding it and being afraid of it, is like some enlightening experience of sorts. To be able to be part of an experience with amazing people whom I look up to is an honor; and to be acknowledged, affirmed and praised by them is beyond awesome.
The other day I ran 9km, as much as it sounds like bragging, my main point is that it was not even long enough for me to finish thinking about this SUAD journey. I thought about the day my ACL was torn and at that very moment I was injured, I didn’t even think about my future in soccer but dance. Why? Was it because I knew I never would have continued with soccer anymore than I would with dance? I wasn’t even very much involved in dance in the first place, a year ago. And when I was moping during my post-op recovery, my sadness lies mainly in the fact that I was being deprived of dance even though whenever my physiotherapists asked about what I was doing rehab for, I replied: soccer. Dance was just THE OTHER sport. Okay, so what was my point again?
Maybe it’s not such a good idea to be writing right after waking from a nap. But it was just this annoying thing that bugged me I had to let it out here – on such a public domain I know – it’s so bloody inappropriate cos these are such private thoughts BUT FCK IT alr who cares. okay byebye I’m done verbalvomitting. Prolly going to delete or make this post private when I look back in horror. Till then. It’s out.