Disclaimer: I wrote this entry purely to reflect on my journey. (FOR MYSELF)
This had been an experience that probably would not come by if not for Michelle who believed in me when I doubted myself. Initially, I was really hesitant about choreographing for THDP2013 when Michelle approached me because I still feel that I had only but just begun my dance journey and I don’t have much dance vocabulary to contribute. But Michelle assured me that I’m more than qualified and I thought since I would be doing a “mass dance” kind of concept, it probably would not require much difficulty or intricacy of moves so I reluctantly agreed. The journey was long and I probably listened to the song for more than 5000 times (okay I exaggerate) but really I’m so sick of the song right now.
There were a couple of hiccups and upsetting encounters along the way but I came to understand them as being part and parcel of a choreographer’s journey & I believe these roadblocks, however minor or trivial some of them were, were meant to shape me into a more patient person. Through this journey, I learnt a few things about teaching, about organizing, being efficient in practices, and giving more than what is required of me even though it probably was seen as a waste of effort and time to most people. The thing about choreographing for the finale item is that most dancers would not place this item as their priority and so for most of the time, I kept having having the feeling that my core dancers were not completely committed to this item, as much as I am to it. Nonetheless, after a few changes to the core dancers, I began to have more attachment to the team and grew to really love this group of people that I call my ‘finale core dancers’. :’) I really appreciate the energy and awesome vibe they bring to each practice, especially towards the last few pracs where I kept drilling them and cleaning them up but they always respond back with great energy and enthusiasm that makes my insides go woopwwoop.
Bump-in days were mentally draining for me because I never imagined that I would be required to do light-plotting & blocking simultaneously and to give instructions to two groups of people under tight time constraints is seriously beyond stressful. But through this experience of being in-charge of 70+ dancers, I learnt a few things about myself and I believe this experience has helped shape and train me up for my future career as a teacher 😛
I am particularly appreciative of my peers who were my pillar of support throughout this whole journey. There were so many moments when I felt incredibly lonely and stressed out & doubted myself after each vetting but these friends were always there to encourage me and affirm me that the item was progressing really well.
On show day, I was still really upset about how some of the dancers were still not adhering to instructions but when Evon came and assured me that she was so proud of me for how the item turned out to be that she teared, I was so touched and encouraged.
As I watched them dancers danced my finale item for that final time on stage that night, I felt my insides all fuzzy and warm. I felt so happy that everything fell into place and I couldn’t thank God enough for that. I thank God for this humbling experience and that He sustained me throughout this journey, showing me favour and grace 🙂
Thank you for the speakers, Fina-YAY dancers! 🙂 and for loving me as much as I love you guys.